it wasn't the way she moved or the way she talked
it wasn't her face or her beautiful form
it wasn't the clever things she said or the way she looked at me
it wasn't her money or the places she'd gone
it wasn't her job or the people she knew
it wasn't that she loved me or needed me in any special way

it could have been the loneliness, the long nights by myself
it could have been the dream I had the night before
it could have been my imagination, cruel unoccupied mind
it could have been the desire to need something, anything
it could have been the summer heat
it could have been any of those things and more

but it wasn't

"what are you wearing" i asked
"nothing" she replied

she just smelled like that
                           -2001-12-18